TeaClub Premiership: Week 4

On Week 4 of the TeaClub Premiership, there was plenty of drama across the country. Drama such as the Lancashire v Yorkshire derby and how two teams are left with 100% records – although for lowly Islington Piacha, this is a record they’d rather not have. Disgraced referee Nick “Niko” Calvert was reinstated at the eleventh hour for the AFC Ringtons v Islington Piacha game, following the sudden disappearance of the replacement referee Keith Hambleton only hours before kick-off. Here’s your Week 4 Roundup.

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Absolutely nothing happened at Jurassic Park in the South-West derby between Dorset Coasters and Miles Smugglers. Total garbage.

The Results

Week 4 Results

AFC Ringtons move back up the table into 2nd and keep Islington Piacha bottom with a 3-1 victory at The Algernon. Shamed referee Nick “Niko” Calvert (or *&%#!$ as some of the fans were addressing him as) appeared to be showing a lenient attitude throughout the game despite a flurry of late tackles from both teams. Later that night, a local bookmakers confirmed a 4 figure sum has been paid out for a ‘zero yellows, zero reds’ stake of £50. Brew Tea Utd inflicted another defeat for Welsh Brew Town by 2 goals to 1. A snooze fest occurred between Dorset Coasters and Miles Smugglers, despite the hype in the local media. The White Rose of Yorkshire Tea FC proved to too strong for their Lancashire Tea FC rivals as they won 2-0. Finally, it was an afternoon to forget for Bristol Bluebirds as they traveled to Northern Ireland for a 4-0 thumping by Sporting Punjana.

The Table

Week 4 Table

What does it mean for our runners and riders then? Dorset Coasters are now the only team to be unbeaten despite a win for AFC Ringtons. Islington Piacha have yet to pick up their first points of the season, despite having a better goal difference than the woeful Bristol Bluebirds. They will look to change that as they both have home games next against Brew Tea Utd and Lancashire Tea FC respectively. Join us next Saturday for it.

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TeaClub Premiership: Week 2 Roundup

After a successful relaunch of a real life fictional football league, aka the TeaClub Premiership, it wasn’t soon before the second round of fixtures. In a week of adverse weather conditions, including a weather bomb which accidentally exploded near The Algernon Stadium in Newcastle, all 5 games went ahead as scheduled. Here’s a roundup of the week 2 results and what it means in terms of the league table.

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There was confusion to begin with at Premier Park when both teams appeared to be aiming for the same goal.

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At The Algernon Stadium, Miles Smugglers breathed life into a dull affair, which saw 0 shots on target from either team, with a wicked deflection from a AFC Ringtons clearance. It gave the away team their thirst 3 points of the season. At Premier Park, a misunderstanding between Brew Tea Utd and Bristol Bluebirds (see above photo) amounted for nothing as both teams played out a bore 0-0 draw. Dorset Coasters target man Suresh Starr bagged 2 goals to help them cruise past Sporting Punjana. A soft penalty ensured Lancashire Tea FC claimed their first win of the campaign against Islington Piacha. A sluggish start to Yorkshire Tea FC‘s season continued as they went behind to a spirited team performance from Welsh Brew Town. Their growing fanbase will be absolutely delighted with that one.

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Suresh Starr in action for Dorset Coasters.

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So far we have 2 teams without a win. 1 team without a goal. 2 teams with maximum points and plenty of mid table mediocrity. Join us for Week 3’s games this Saturday. Will Yorkshire Tea FC score a proper goal? Will Welsh Brew Town give another show for the fans? Will Suresh Starr make a very early case for the Golden Brewt? Al sithee then.