Before reading this, just drool away at the Xmas Menu 2016 at Bluebird Tea Co. You’re welcome.
T’other day I were sat with our Benn when we received a telephone call. It was Reginald Van de Hoef, agent of the #teaclub. He says that his mum’s auntie’s friend knows someone in Brighton who knows someone who works at Bluebird Tree Co and that there’s exciting news. It was the first time we heard about the new Xmas 2016 range of trees. Realising we needed a Christmas Tree for the living room at #teaclub HQ, we got on our bicycles. Unfortunately, the city of Brighton has placed vehicle restriction orders on us following our recent heists at the similarly named Bluebird Tea Co – the best tea mixologists in the world.
Off we set from Yorkshire to Brighton on our bikes, singing songs as we went. Benn did a marvelous rendition of What’s That Coming O’er The Hill Is It A Monster whilst I opted for a slow jam with My Mind’s Telling Me No But My Body’s Telling Me Yes. Before we knew it we had arrived at Bridlington, Yorkshire.
Because of Benn’s poor map reading skills, we arrived in Brighton at 3am where we checked our phones to book a hotel for the night. Van de Hoef had left 3 missed calls and a voicemail. We knew summat was up.It wasn’t good news. Due to a misunderstanding with his mum’s auntie’s friend who knows someone in Brighton, it was indeed Bluebird Tea Co and not Bluebird Tree Co. Benn said “what we gonna do about this Xmas tree now?”. Never mind that Benn. We have a major problem. Bluebird Tea Co is shut and we were both foaming.
Sod it. Let’s case the joint!
We found two spare bin bags and put them on our heads.This was our view of the shop when we broke in.
Returning to the hotel, we checked out our loot. Ladies and gentlemen, we have come back with some right treats. Here’s what we got and here’s what we thought..
Mulled Cider (50g Loose)
The Mulled Cider is everything you’d expect from a Mulled Wine except it doesn’t have actual wine in it. Actually this doesn’t have actual cider in it. Hang on, that’s a poor introduction now. Essentially though, this mixture of apple pieces, cinnamon, ginger, cloves and other fruity bits and pieces is a solid winter warmer. For a more fuller experience, serve with a splash of rum (don’t be daft and put milk in it). For a lesser experience, make a cup of PG. Just don’t do it kids!
Marks out of 10? 9.65
Hey, Sugar Plum (50g Loose)
Plum, Sugar Hey was the pick of the bunch in the eys of the #teaclub. Not only does it look outstanding, it has the biggest berries ive seen in any tea blend. You can taste them too. This is another cinnamon inspired ensemble that has other ingredients, such as elderberries and blackcurrent. The fruits take centre stage here but the cinnamon makes a great guest appearance, especially as we enter the winter months. It’s a cockle warmer. Again, serve without milk.
Marks out of 10? ABBA
2 Xmas Crackers (yes, official Bluebird Tea Co crackers!)
The Christmas Crackers must be a new feature for the festive season and they are cracking it has to be said. They’re built so well out of card that they’re pretty much the most designer-ey crackers you’ll see this Xmas. We personally didn’t want to open ours and keep them on the mantlepiece. However, we wouldn’t know what to write in terms of its contents. So we got cracking and cracked open the cracker. Inside you will find: 1 x funny tea joke, 1 x hat and 1 x individually wrapped silk tea bag. Ours was Christmas Cake flavoured tea. They make all other crackers look redundent. Except for cream crackers. They’re tasty.
Marks out of 10? $5.99
Mulled Wine Candle
First crackers and now a candle made in partnership with the Brighton based Lu Aromatheraphy. We argued like a married couple over who would enjoy this in the bath first so we came to a compromise and had a bath together (both in swimming shorts) with a brew. Reminiscing over our mishaps earlier in the week on the bikes, a smell of mulled wine filled the room. Cinnamon and orange peel notes is what we got out of the experience. Other smells we won’t discuss (yes Benn!). Everything soon went foggy and our vision wasn’t quite at the races by the time we left the bath tub. Staggering about like a couple of boozed up lads, we eventually got to bed. I woke up on the bathroom floor whilst Benn chose to sleep in the airing cupboard. Was a wild one.
Marks out of 10? Deutsche Mark
Mulled Wine Infusion Sacs
Review to come very soon (when the hangover clears)…
To Krisi, Mike and the whole Bluebird Family, we wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. All the best for 2016. In the meantime, we’ve got some tea knowledge to brush up on with this fine piece of literature (thanks Charlie x).
Brighton – Tunbridge Wells – Bristol – Peckham